Saturday, November 04, 2006

New Type of War? New Type of Enemy?

My half-breed ass. This is something that gets trotted out time after time in the history of human conflicts. Every single time we go to war it seems there's somebody who wants to cite "a new type of war" to justify the committing of atrocity and crimes. For those who really want to call this war in Afghanistan and Iraq something new or something different I give you - - -

Alexander the Great addressing his troops on the approach to Afghanistan from History of Alexander by Quintus Curtius


Do you believe that so many nations accustomed to the name and rule of another, united with us by neither religion, no customs, no community of language, have been subdued in the same battle in which they were overcome? It is by your arms alone that they are restrained, not by their dispositions, and those who fear us when we are present, in our absence, be enemies. We are dealing with savage beasts, which lapse of time only can tame, when they are caught and caged, because their own nature cannot tame them. . .Accordingly, we must either give up what we have taken, or we must seize what we do not yet hold.



New? Nope. Different? Not much. Sounds pretty much like the same old imperial bullshit to me. But then, I am a documented attitude case.

crossposted at 3B's

From General J.C. Christian (patriot)

CONGRESSMAN CALL ME


good grief i loves me this one!

Friday, November 03, 2006

The Christian Right Should Lay Off of the Meth

and maybe try Peyote or fly agaric or even psilocybin. Not only would they get a bit closer to the god they claim to serve, they'd have better sex. I was never much into the whole Methamphetamine thing, after all, I play strings and that shit makes your hands shake. It was better left for drummers and stuff by my thinking. I have a tough time imagining it being used to enhance sex also. Most of my information is anecdotal but the skinny I got was that it made your little soldier stand "at ease" rather than attention. Like mine did when I over indulged in the cocaine.

One of the clues I got that maybe my consumption of drugs and alcohol was beyond the pale was when I noticed that I was passing up on the "road cookies" (groupies is something outside writers used, I never heard it mentioned backstage among musicians it was always cookies or "the lassies") because I just wasn't all that interested. One of the things heroin did to me sexually was to inhibit my ability to achieve a climax. Everything stood up and worked OK, but there was no, to put it delicately, finish. And, like I once said to a tantra weenie who was waxing all poetic about "male withholding" and some such dribble, "Dude, if I can't come, I ain't goin'."

Without even going into the base and vile hypocrisy that the evangelicals show when they rail on and on about "god's law" and "the bible says. . ." and then seek out homosexual or other acts they preach against I can, as an old and now reformed, user of just about every drug I could find say that, in this case, the choice of substance was all wrong.

Next time maybe he should go botanical, ya think?

Fun From NY Times

Friday Random Ten

Whew! Is it Friday already? What with fretting and fussing about the coming election, trying to keep my thoughts of a republican theft at bay and small hope alive. I must highly recommend a thoughtfull, well written piece by my friend, The Dark Wraith. Please be active this election cycle. If we are not watching like hawks they could steal even our promise of hope.


Good! You're back. I'm hitting Random and the top ten are....


Like a Rolling Stone - - - Bob Dylan and the Band, live at Albert Hall
Gun Street Girl - - - Tom Waits
Got My Mojo Working - - - Muddy Waters and Howlin' Wolf live at House of Blues
Diamonds in the Mine - - - Leonard Cohen
Wreck of Ol' 97 - - - Lester Raymond Flatt
How Long Blues - - - Furry Lewis
Tumbling Dice - - - Linda Ronstadt
Her Mind is Gone - - - Professor Longhair
Adagio for Strings - - - Samuel Barber (Arturo Toscanini conducting RCA Orchestra 1939)
Piobairechd - - - Wicked Tinkers (if you're not hip to these guys get some)

Bonus (and if it's good we'll do another)

Rockin' In the Free World - - Neil Young (unplugged too!)

Bonus Bonus

The Tide is High - - - Desmond Decker


What ya'll listenin' too?

Thursday, November 02, 2006

NBA Refs Are Republicans

We were only minutes into the new NBA season and Rasheed Wallace had already been ejected. The NBA has a new policy in place for technical fouls, it's modeled on the Bush White House and the Military Commissions Act. Rather than deal with the criticism that NBA refs suck out loud and are notoriously biased (like that playoff game in Detroit where Ben Wallace wasn't called for a foul until well into the fourth quarter, I mean Jeezus Horatio Christ on a fucking Skateboard! That's Ben Wallace, he fouls three people on the way out of the locker room)

The new policy is that now the refs can call anything (that's what a tech foul is it's the ref's way of saying "see i got this here fucking whistle and when i blow it i can fuck with you") for like say, no goddamn reason at all. It's as if the NBA said "We won't do anything about improving the quality of the refs and we will strengthen their ability to call bullshit fouls on anyone who points out that they are full of shit." Look for slower games, especially punk ass refs like Bavetta and Jahve who act like everybody in the stands bought tickets to watch them blow their whistles. Look for frustrated players getting whistled for being frustrated and then being tossed out of games because they had a stunned look of disbelief on their faces. I see fights coming, lots of fights. That might be good since that soul less fuck Eisner disneyed fighting out of Hockey when he put that fake team down in Anaheim. It would be better if basketball players not named Mahorn or Oakley didn't all fight like girls.

So, just like the Republicans, the NBA deals with poor performance and corruption by stomping the shit out of anyone who points that out to them. After the all star break they will probably have a deal in place to send anyone who racks up six T's in a month to Guantanamo or one of the Secret Prisons in east Europe.

But ya'll are on notice. Watch out for the Phoenix Suns this year. They run and shoot 'till they make one, then they shoot 'till they miss. That's fun ass Basketball to watch.

Indian Pudding

This dish has a long and storied history in America. It was a favorite dish of my favorite of the Founding Fathers, John Adams. He had it for dessert at night and then reheated in the morning and served with cold milk. He also drank hard cider at every meal. There are no monuments to Adams, he knew that there most likely would not be and was bothered by that knowledge. Yet, he was instrumental in almost every single event in our early history. His ranting and railing at the Continental Congress was the stuff of legend. His outburst before his resolution on "independency" was brilliant stuff. He pointed out that King George had already declared the colonies to be in rebellion and that Congress had yet to do so. He, with remarkable self-awareness told Jefferson that he should be the writer of the Declaration because "I'm not half the writer you are, and besides, I'm obnoxious and disliked." I think I admire Adams most because of his human failings. I understand his single minded pursuit of excellence. I admire his fidelity and love of his wife and family. I am in awe of the courage it took for him to stand in the Court of St. James as the first Ambassador and be ignored. That he was able to rise above his frailties and truly achieve greatness was brilliant and courageous stuff. Would that we had politicians of that mettle now. Since we can't seem to find anyone that is willing to act like John Adams, at least we can eat like him. There are many variations to this dish. This recipe is from the lovely and strong Abigail. It is plain and simple. I will list some of the possible variations after the original has been presented. My kids adore this. When I would have it on the table they would, when they were little, exclaim "Indian Pudding! 'Cause we're Indians!" (the last words shouted at proper war whoop volumes) My stock reply was always to say "Indeed you are my darlings."

Ingredients

1 quart scalded milk
1/3 cup corn meal (she means yellow or yankee corn meal here)
Pinch of salt
1/2 cup molasses
1 good teaspoon ginger (slighty more than level will do nicely)

Scald the milk and strain through a sieve into a double boiler pan with the corn meal (milk skin is icky and I have discovered that tossing it to the dogs keeps them out from underfoot while I'm moving about the kitchen, they also manage a good floor cleanup while they're at it). Over rapidly boiling, salted water (there's some scientific principle about salting the water, it makes it go a little hotter or a little cooler I never can remember which one) mix together with the salt and cook, stirring often (you don't have to do this constantly but scorching and lumping are to be discouraged) for 20 to 25 minutes. You're looking for a thick, rich porridge here. Bubbles should bulge and hiss steam like Yellowstone mud pots and the granularity of the meal should be tenderized. Mix in the molasses (and I like to start with 3 tablespoons of good maple syrup then top off with a viscous dark blackstrap molasses to make 1/2 cup) and the ginger and transfer to a buttered soufflé dish (see that's not a totally single use item) or a sturdy baking dish and bake at 300° for about 2 hours. This is orgasmic if you serve it with a top flight vanilla ice cream.

Now, to variations. Dried fruit can be added without any changes at all. If you choose to add eggs, you will be making it more of a custard and will have to increase the milk proportionally. You might be tempted to add cinnamon or nutmeg or a dose of brown, white or maple sugar. Resist these foolish thoughts! Think of John Adams scowling at you for putting on airs! Molasses and ginger were huge treats at a colonial New England table. Cinnamon and nutmeg were only available through the same East India Tea Company bastards that were fouling up a pretty good system, while ginger could be smuggled easily by good neighbors like Hancock through New Orleans from the Islands. Show your solidarity with our Founders, eat some Indian Pudding, drink some hard cider and imagine Patrick Henry and Thomas Paine taking turns bitch slapping our current President while John Adams, Sam Adams, Paul Revere, John Jay, Jefferson and a handsome young Hamilton smoked their pipes and offered technical advice.


crosspudding at 3B's

Keith Olbermann Nails It Again

OLBERMANN: And finally tonight a special comment.

On the 22nd of May, 1856, as the deteriorating American political system veered towards the edge of the cliff, Congressman Preston Brooks of South Carolina shuffled into the Senate of this nation, his leg stiff from an old dueling injury, supported by a cane. And he looked for the familiar figure of the prominent senator from Massachusetts, Charles Sumner.

Brooks found Sumner at his desk, mailing out copies of a speech he had delivered three days earlier, a speech against slavery.

The congressman matter-of-factly raised his walking stick in midair and smashed its metal point across the senator‘s head.

Congressman Brooks hit his victim repeatedly. Senator Sumner somehow got to his feet and tried to flee. Brooks chased him and delivered untold blows to Sumner‘s head. Even though Sumner lay unconscious and bleeding on the Senate floor, Brooks finally stopped beating him only because his cane finally broke.

Others will cite John Brown‘s attack on the arsenal at Harper‘s Ferry as the exact point after which the Civil War became inevitable.

In point of fact, it might have been the moment, not when Brooks broke his cane over the prostrate body of Senator Sumner, but when voters in Brooks‘ district started sending him new canes.

Tonight, we almost wonder to whom President Bush will send the next new cane.

There is tonight no political division in this country that he and his party will not exploit, nor have not exploited; no anxiety that he and his party will not inflame.

There is no line this president has not crossed, nor will not cross to keep one political party in power.

He has spread any and every fear among us in a desperate effort to avoid that which he most fears—some check, some balance against what has become not an imperial, but a unilateral presidency.

And now it is evident that it no longer matters to him whether that effort to avoid the judgment of the people is subtle and nuanced or laughably transparent.

Senator John Kerry called him out Monday. He did it two years too late. He had been too cordial, just as Vice President Gore had been too cordial in 2000, just as millions of us have been too cordial ever since.

Senator Kerry, as you well know, spoke at a college in Southern California. With bitter humor he told the students that he had been in Texas the day before, that President Bush used to live in that state, but that now he lives in the state of denial.

He said the trip had reminded him about the value of education, that “if you make the most of it, you study hard, you do your homework, and you make an effort to be smart, you can do well. If you don‘t, you can get stuck in Iraq.”

The senator, in essence, called Mr. Bush stupid.

The context was unmistakable: Texas; the state of denial; stuck in Iraq. No interpretation required.

And Mr. Bush and his minions responded by appearing to be too stupid to realize that they had been called stupid.

They demanded Kerry apologize to the troops in Iraq.

And so he now has.

That phrase, “appearing to be too stupid,” is used deliberately, Mr. Bush, because there are only three possibilities here.

One, sir, is that you are far more stupid than the worst of your critics has suggested; that you could not follow the construction of a simple sentence; that you could not recognize your own life story when it was deftly summarized; that you could not perceive it was the sad ledger of your presidency that was being recounted.

This, of course, compliments you, Mr. Bush, because even those who do not “make the most of it,” who do not “study hard,” who do not “do their homework,” and who do not “make an effort to be smart” might still just be stupid, but honest.

No, the first option, sir, is, at best, improbable. You are not honest.

The second option is that you and those who work for you deliberately twisted what Senator Kerry said to fit your political template; that you decided to take advantage of it, to once again pretend that the attacks, solely about your own incompetence, were in fact attacks on the troops or even on the nation itself.

The third possibility is, obviously, the nightmare scenario: that the first two options are in some way conflated.

That it is both politically convenient for you and personally satisfying to you, to confuse yourself with the country for which, sir, you work.

A brief reminder, Mr. Bush: You are not the United States of America.

You are merely a politician whose entire legacy will have been a willingness to make anything political; to have, in this case, refused to acknowledge that the insult wasn‘t about the troops, and that the insult was not even truly about you either, that the insult, in fact, is you.

So, now John Kerry has apologized to the troops; apologized for the Republicans‘ deliberate distortions.

Thus, the president will now begin the apologies he owes our troops, right?

This president must apologize to the troops for having suggested, six weeks ago, that the chaos in Iraq, the death and the carnage, the slaughtered Iraqi civilians and the dead American service personnel, will, to history, “look like just a comma.”

This president must apologize to the troops because the intelligence he claims led us into Iraq proved to be undeniably and irredeemably wrong.

This president must apologize to the troops for having laughed about the failure of that intelligence at a banquet while our troops were in harm‘s way.

This president must apologize to the troops because the streets of Iraq were not strewn with flowers and its residents did not greet the troops as liberators.

This president must apologize to the troops because his administration ran out of “plan” after barely two months.

This president must apologize to the troops for getting 2,815 of them killed.

This president must apologize to the troops for getting this country into a war without a clue.

And Mr. Bush owes us an apology for this destructive and omnivorous presidency.

We will not receive them, of course.

This president never apologizes.

Not to the troops.

Not to the people.

Nor will those henchmen who have echoed him.

In calling him a “stuffed suit,” Senator Kerry was wrong about the press secretary.

Mr. Snow‘s words and conducts, falsely earnest and earnestly false, suggest he is not “stuffed,” he is inflated.

And in leaving him out of the equation, Senator Kerry gave an unwarranted pass to his old friend Senator John McCain, who should be ashamed of himself tonight.

He rolled over and pretended Kerry had said what he obviously had not.

Only, the symbolic stick he broke over Kerry‘s head came in a context even more disturbing, still.

Mr. McCain demanded the apology while electioneering for a Republican congressional candidate in Illinois.

He was speaking of how often he had been to Walter Reed Hospital to see the wounded Iraq veterans, of how “many of them have lost limbs.”

He said all this while demanding that the voters of Illinois reject a candidate who is not only a wounded Iraq veteran, but who lost two limbs there, Tammy Duckworth.

Support some of the wounded veterans. But bad-mouth the Democratic one.

And exploit all the veterans and all the still-serving personnel in a cheap and tawdry political trick to try to bury the truth: that John Kerry said the president had been stupid.

And to continue this slander as late as this morning, as biased or gullible or lazy newscasters nodded in sleep-walking assent.

Senator McCain became a front man in a collective lie to break sticks over the heads of Democrats, one of them his friend, another his fellow veteran, legless, for whom he should weep and applaud or at minimum about whom he should stay quiet.

That was beneath the senator from Arizona.

And it was all because of an imaginary insult to the troops that his party cynically manufactured out of a desperation and a futility as deep as that of Congressman Brooks, when he went hunting for Senator Sumner.

This is our beloved country now as you have redefined it, Mr. Bush.

Get a tortured Vietnam veteran to attack a decorated Vietnam veteran in defense of military personnel whom that decorated veteran did not insult.

Or, get your henchmen to take advantage of the evil lingering dregs of the fear of miscegenation in Tennessee, in your party‘s advertisements against Harold Ford.

Or, get the satellites who orbit around you, like Rush Limbaugh, to exploit the illness and the bipartisanship of Michael J. Fox. Yes, get someone to make fun of the cripple.

Oh, and sir, don‘t forget to drag your own wife into it.

“It‘s always easy,” she said of Mr. Fox‘s commercials and she used this phrase twice “it‘s always easy to manipulate people‘s feelings.”

Where on earth might the first lady have gotten that idea, Mr.

President?

From your endless manipulation of people‘s feelings about terrorism?

“However they put it,” you said Monday of the Democrats, on the subject of Iraq, “their approach comes down to this: The terrorists win, and America loses.”

No manipulation of feelings there.

No manipulation of the charlatans of your administration into the only truth-tellers.

No shocked outrage at the Kerry insult that wasn‘t; no subtle smile as the first lady silently sticks the knife in Michael J. Fox‘s back; no attempt on the campaign trail to bury the reality that you have already assured that the terrorists are winning.

Winning in Iraq, sir.

Winning in America, sir.

There we have chaos, joint U.S.-Iraqi checkpoints at Sadr City, the base of the radical Shiite militias, and the Americans have been ordered out by the prime minister of Iraq and our secretary of defense doesn‘t even know about it!

And here we have deliberate, systematic, institutionalized lying and smearing and terrorizing, a code of deceit that somehow permits a president to say, “If you listen carefully for a Democrat plan for success, they don‘t have one.”

Permits him to say this while his plan in Iraq has amounted to a twisted version of the advice once offered to Lyndon Johnson about his Iraq, then thing called Vietnam.

Instead of “declare victory and get out” we now have “declare victory and stay indefinitely.”

And also here, we have institutionalized the terrorizing of the opposition.

True domestic terror: Critics of your administration in the media, sir, receive letters filled with fake anthrax.

Braying newspapers, sir, applaud or laugh or reveal details the FBI asked to have kept quiet, and thus impede or ruin the investigation.

A series of reactionary columnists encourages treason charges against a newspaper that published supposed “national security information” that was openly available on the Internet.

One radio critic receives a letter threatening the revelation of as much personal information about her as can be obtained and expressing the hope that someone will then shoot her with an AK-47 machine gun.

And finally, a critic of an incumbent Republican senator, a critic armed with nothing but words, is attacked by the senator‘s supporters and thrown to the floor in full view of television cameras as if someone really did want to re-enact the intent and the rage of the day Preston Brooks found Senator Charles Sumner.

Of course, Mr. President, you did none of these things.

You instructed no one to mail the fake anthrax, nor undermine the FBI‘s case, nor call for the execution of the editors of the New York Times, nor threaten to assassinate Stephanie Miller, nor beat up a man yelling at Senator Allen, nor have the first lady knife Michael J. Fox, nor tell John McCain to lie about John Kerry.

No, you did not, sir.

And the genius of the thing is the same as in King Henry‘s rhetorical question about Archbishop Thomas Becket: “Who will rid me of this meddlesome priest?”

All you have to do, sir, is hand out enough new canes.

I‘m Keith Olbermann. Goodnight and good luck.

THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.

END




I write (using real mail and stamps and shit) Olbermann a lot. His voice in the wilderness railings against the stupidity, arrogance and excesses of this White House are a breath of fresh air in a sea of conformity and main stream banality. The fact that he's killing Bill O'Reilly in the ratings is an extra added sweetener.

Clinton Got A Blowjob (a sing along)


tip of the tin foil cap to Tennessee Guerilla Women which is always a good stop on your reading list.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Because of Iraq

Very well said. I encourage all of you to please check out VoteVets and, if you are able, drop some money on them. They are the best voice our young men and women in uniform have speaking for them.

Hive Mind! Assemble!

I got this email this morning from one of my sisters. It's an interesting thing to think about.
Hi guys! My mom is heading home in the next couple of days after a month's visit. How that pertains to my book is, I haven't had 5 spare minutes to work on it during her visit, I was lucky to get to my emails sporadically. Anyway, I'm getting ready to finish the first draft for my test readers, and hope to have it sent out by the end of the year. But I'm stuck on an idea that I need a word for, and I thought my panel of experts could help.
The book is about fighing evil, and how a couple of midlife sisters manage to do that. There are lots of delightful characters. I can't wait for you to meet them and it will become clear to you that I didn't have to reach past my personal experience to describe these rich & wonderful people.
Anyway, at one point some of the ladies are talking about the female version of "macho". We all know what a macho man is, but what would be a word to describe a female who dominates in traditionally feminine skills like cooking and sewing. And it would need to be an affectionate term, not an angry one.
Any ideas you have would be welcome! We have a couple of weeks, too, because that's something I could add on at the last minute. Thanks, guys


Ponder. Discuss.


I'm flogging this one all over the net, first at 3B's

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Spudsy! This One's For You! (try it and leave heaps of praise in the comments section)

Paul The Spud along with being funny and all around good guy (he's even in grad school to become a professional good guy) loves pumpkins. I promised him to publish my recipes for Gingerbread Pumpkin Trifle and Pumpkin Soufflé . Something I have tried to do in my sobriety is to keep my promises. Spudsy, here you go. I just got back from an extended trip to L.A. I had three days of studio commitments which turned into four days and then my phone rang. It was the beautiful April. The upshot was that we spent two days together, lounging around the hotel, ordering in movies and room service. Yeah, sometimes life is pretty goddamn good for a grouchy old guitar slinger.

Tonight's Halloween plans include having some good things to offer the adults who bring their children by El Rancho Harpo. We will be serving hot chocolate made with the ganache from the truffle recipe. Where I take a mug of hot milk, add a generous slug of ganache (and, if requested by an adult, I will throw in a slug of liqueur like Gran Marnier, Anisette, Calvados (Ok I know it's a brandy but what the fuck I'm still tired from the road and stuff), or the new Starbucks Coffee Liqueur. There will also be hot mulled cider for the kids and the non drinkers like me. There will be a Pumpkin Trifle, Honey Pumpkin Pie and this Soufflé. Most of the techniques that I will be describing were already covered in the chocolate soufflé so I'm not likely to wax all poetic on that part. If I get bored I might start getting all graphic with remembering my weekend with April....(stop lad back to work!)

Ingredients

1 1/2 cups milk (you can substiture soymilk here but not non or low fat variety)
1 tablespoon minced peeled fresh ginger
4 large egg yolks
3/4 cup baker's sugar
5 tablespoons cake flour
1 cup solid-pack canned pumpkin
8 large egg whites


Again, allow me to remind you that the fresher the eggs the finer the soufflé. If you haven't located farm eggs or backyard eggs by now you're slacking and deserve what you get. I am also assuming that you've broken down and purchased a real, honest to gawd ceramic soufflé dish. Get that down now and butter it generously with unsalted butter.

Heat the oven to 375°. In a heavy sauce pan scald the milk, remove from heat, stir in the ginger and steep for thirty minutes. In a non-reactive bowl (meaning glass or pottery) whisk together the egg yolks and six tablespoons of the sugar until lemony yellow and smooth. Add in the cake flour until smooth and glossy. Slowly add in the hot milk through a fine strainer (you don't want any milk skin or ginger bits) whisking constantly to prevent scrambling the yolks. Return this to the saucepan and over a medium heat bring just to the edge of a boil, whisking constantly. Reduce the heat enough to keep your mixture just below the boil and cook until it coats the back of a wooden spoon when dipped. Don't worry this only takes a few minutes once your temperature has been achieved. Put this all into a large mixing bowl (again use a non-reactive bowl) and whisk in the pumpkin puree. Set this aside for now.

Take the egg whites and whisk them until they are uniformly foamy. (you can also use the whisk attachment on an electric mixer but I prefer the consistency of a hand whisked soufflé over a machine mixed one even though I have no scientific explanation on why this is so). One tablespoon at a time whisk in the sugar (you can also add a 1/4 teaspoon of cream of tartar here for extra lift) and beat until you have stiff, firm peaks. Again, I stress we want Viagra stiff here. Don't punk out early and stuff.

Gently fold about a third of the egg white mixture into the pumpkin custard to lighten it up a bit. Then gently and thoroughly fold that into the remaining egg whites. The gentler you behave at this point of the recipe will make for a much lighter end result. Go slow. Go gently. You'll be proud of yourself later on if you do.

Carefully spoon this batter into the soufflé dish (or you may use 8 six ounce ramekins, but I prefer the big dish for both presentation and consistency and, quite frankly, isn't a soufflé all about the goddamn consistency?) and put it into a bain marie (you should be familiar with some of these terms by now, if not look it up) on the middle rack of the oven. Take your finger and make a small "moat" around the inner edge of the soufflé, bake for 25 minutes. The soufflé should be risen well above the top rim of the dish and have a wonderful orangey golden brown crust. Take it to the table right away. Spoon out the servings, dust with cinnamon, nutmeg and powdered sugar. Top that with whipped cream (real stuff not that canned shit) or, if you are a traditionalist like me and 3rdX, Creme Anglais.

Expect the Honey Pumpkin Pie recipe to be out sometime before Thanksgiving Spudsy. And remember, I want to hear about results when you try these. There might be something I can do to explain things better.

crossposted at big brass pumpkins

I'm Back, Tired, Grouchy, Internet Service is intermittent

From the pen of Larry Gelbart

Larry Gelbart (brilliant writer of MASH, TOOTSIE, OH GOD, FUNNY THING HAPPENED ON THE WAY TO THE FORUM, SLY FOX, CITY OF ANGELS, etc.) just emailed me this and I wanted to pass it on. You're welcome to do the same.


Ken (since you gave me permission and stuff thank you ken)

***********

For Election Day – Lest We Forget


Iraq
Iraq
Iraq
Abu Ghraib
Guantanamo
Evil Doers
Evil Do Gooders
Terrormercials
Outsourcing Jobs
OutsourcingTorture
Quitting International Criminal Court
The Kyoto Protocol
The Geneva Conventions
Leaving Habeas Corpus for Dead
Civil War Abroad
Uncivil War at Home
Sound Bites
Unsound Policies
Unremorseful
Unregretful
Unrepentant
The Middle East Mess
The Middle Class Collapse
Predictably Unprepared
Perpetually Unequipped
Unmatched Ignorance
Unbridled Arrogance
Unwarranted Phone Taps
Unprecedented Powers
Compassionate Imperialism
Faith-Based Fascism
Total Dicktatorship
700 Club
700 Mile Border Fence
Over 700 Presidential Signing Statements
Unmatched Incompetence
Unparalleled Corruption
Ethic Cleansing
Governor Bob Taft
Governor John Rowland
Governor Bill Janklow
Oversight
Overlook
Stuff Happens
Stuffed Shirts
Tailored Suits
Tailored Stories
24/7 Spin Cycle
Executive Privilege
Privileged Executives
Wordsmiths
Warsmiths
Surrogate Samurais
Draft Dodging Doges
Potomac Pattons
A Coven of the Craven
Representative Tom Delay
Representative Roy Blunt
Representative Ken Calvert
Representative John Doolittle
Representative Jean Schmidt
Representative Jim Gibbons
Representative Tom Feeney
Representative Patrick McHenry
Representative Christopher Shays
Representative Katherine Harris
Representative Barbara Cubin
Representative Joe Barton
Representative Jerry Lewis
Representative Gary Miller
Representative Marilyn Musgrave
Representative Richard Pombo
Representative Rick Renzi
Representative John Sweeney
Representative Charles Taylor
Representative Curt Weldon
Representative J.D. Hayworth
Representative Don Sherwood
Representative John Patterson
Representative Rodney Alexander
Representative Roy LaHood
Representative Bob Beauprez
Representative Bob Ney
Representative Randy Cunningham
Representative Chris Cannon
Jeff Gannon
Representative Mark Foley
Representative Dennis Hastert
Representative Jim Kolbe
Representative John Shimkus
Representative Tom Reynolds
Over Paid
Over Reaching
Over Logging
Under Armored
Under Suspicion
Beneath Contempt
Senator Bill Frist
Senator George Allen
Senator Conrad Burns
Senator Joe Lieberman
Senator Rick Santorum
Senator Trent Lott
Senator James Inhofe
Senator Pat Roberts
Senator Sam Brownback
Rubber Stamps
Robber Barons
Senator Larry Craig
Craig Schelske
Ken Blackwell
Lester Crawford
Crawford, Texas
Brian Bilbray
Margaret Spellings
Media Consolidation
Homophobia on the Range
Fearmongering
Smearslinging
The RNC
The DNC (Do Nothing Congress)
DC (Dutifully Corporate)
Family Valuables
The Far Wrong
The Far Righteous
Reverend Jerry Falwell
Reverend Pat Robertson
Reverend James Dobson
Reverend Lou Sheldon
Ralph Reed
Gary Bauer
David Safavian
Vice Presidential Energy Task Force
Seventy Dollars a Barrel
Three Bucks a Gallon
Record Oil Company Profits
Anwar Pipeline
Anbar Province
Arthur Anderson
ABB
Adelphia Communications
Merck
Eli Lilly
Mirant
AOL Time Warner
Kmart
Bristol-Myers Squibb
CMS Energy
Duke Energy
Nicor Energy
Reliant Energy
Dynegy
Peregrine Systems
Homestore.com
Xerox
Qwest
Tyco
WorldCom
Global Crossing
Global Warming
Global Boiling
Lee Raymond
Exxon
Enron
Abramoff
Tribe Bribes
Mike Scanlon
Grover Norquist
War Profiteers
War Privateers
Halliburton
Bechtel
Blackwater
CACI
Titan
Carlyle Group
Custer Battles
Kellogg, Brown & Root
George Tenet
Unanswered Questions
Questionable Answers
Adam Kidan
Timothy Flanigan
Lawrence Lindsay
Jessica Lynch
Jim Ellis
John Colyandro
Donald Keyser
Peter Roskam
Katherine Gun
Garrett Lott
Armstrong Williams
Talking Points
Pointless Talking
Chuck McGee
James Tobin
Thomas Scully
Kenneth Tomlinson
Allen Raymond
Claude Allen
Katrina
Rita
Harriet (Miers)
FEMA
FISA
NSA
Cut and Run
Run on Cuts
Bring It On
Dead Or Alive
Terri Schiavo
Bill Frist, MD
John Bolton
Diebold
Florida, 2000
Ohio, 2004
North Korea 2006
Selective Diplomacy
Preemptive War
Iraq.
Iran?
Sleeper Cells
Stem Cell Research
Darfur
Dubai Ports World
Swift Boat Hit Men
Max Cleland
Douglas Feith
Mumming the Press
Dumbing the Proles
Roger Ailes
Sean Hannity
Bill O’Reilly
Fred Barnes
Morton Kondracke
Brit Hume
John Gibson
Ann Coulter
Laura Ingraham
Michelle Malkin
Glenn Beck
Neil Cavuto
Neal Boortz
Neil Bush (No Brother Left Behind)
Rush Limbaugh
David Frum
David Horowitz
Golden Parachutes
Shrunken Pensions
Sunken Bipartisanship
Bernie Kerik
Eminent Domain
J. Steven Griles
Numerous Convictions
Occasional Confessions
Social Security Privatization
Abrupt Resignations
Porter Goss
Dusty Foggo
Zero Accountability
Even Less Credibility
Michael Chertoff
Homeland Insecurity
Ahmad Chalabi
Baghdad Museum
Tora Bora
Taliban Resurgence
Iraqi Insurgents
General William Boykin
General Eric Shinseki
General Janet Karpinski
General Ricardo Sanchez
General Anthony Zinni
Mission Accomplished
Lawbreaking Lawmakers
Impeachable Sources
Suppressed Medicare Costs
The Donut Hole
Intelligent Design
Intelligence Failures
Ari Fleischer
Scott McClellan
Tony Snow
Tony Perkins
Tony Rudy
Tony Blankley
Tony Blair
Downing Street Memo
The Late Great Britain
Ken Mehlman
Dennis Prager
Wayne Simmons
Frank Gaffney
Expiration of Assault Weapons Ban
John Ashcroft
Alberto Gonzales
Alberto Fernandez
Danny Diaz
William Bennett
Stephen Hadley
Karen Hughes
Bunnatine Greenhouse
Richard Grasso
Brian Doyle
Thomas Noe
Ted Van Der Meid
Tan Nguyen
Michael Gerson
Michael Medved
Michael Reagan
Michael Maloof
Michael Savage
Aluminum Tubes
Rice
Yellowcake
Niger
Valerie Plame
Joseph Wilson
Scooter Libby
Robert Novak
Richard Armitage
Brent Bozell III
Paul Bremer III
Gulf II
Non-Regime-Changing Regime Changers
Neoconmen
Ex-Non-Vet Vulcans
Playing to an Enraptured Audience
Armageddon Uber Alles
Paul Wolfowitz
Richard Perle
David Wormser
Elliott Abrams
James Woolsey
Zalmay Khalizad
William Kristol
The Coalition of the Dwindling
Staining the Course
WMD (W’s Mass Denials)
Mad Cowboy Disease
Mad Cowhands Disease
Kissinger Redux
Duck Cheney
Rumbo
Blossom (the Turd)
George (the Fourth):Son of a Higher Father; Uniter, Decider, Flatulater; Reader of at least three Shakespeares, Camus’ “The Stranger” and “The Pet Goat;”
Prematurely discharged National Air Guardsman, missing in inaction, who describes members of the political party that successfully prosecuted two world wars as quitters.
Billions Missing in Iraq
Trillions Missing in D.C.
Missing Limbs
Missed Lives
Iraq
Iraq
Iraq

On to ’08 ...