This isn't one of those "fuck it i'm outta here posts." I have a down day, after a down day, I'm in beautiful San Francisco, which is vibrantly the city that most other cities aspire to be.
I have been hoping to do a performance snapshot (sorry, no pictures, I've been asked to refrain from that) except my experience has been weird. Fun weird, but weird nonetheless.
I'm playing with the founder/leader of a group that had a strong cult following through the eighties and nineties. When we're playing stuff from that era I often get the "nags" from my little voices. Stuff like "Yeah, fun. Contrived fun. Fun that's hard work. Fun from twenty years ago." Then the voices start in with "And twenty years ago kid, you were over forty."
With the WGA strike looming over Hollywood threatening to put sand in the jingle gig gears I'm also looking at having to put in a lot more performing time. Which I'm not all that enthused about. I've been doing this a long time. Frankly, I'm tired.
I've been giving lots of thought on what to do next. Go through with the threats to open my truffle shop, start up a non-profit business helping folks rebuild sober lives after they go through drug and alcohol treatment. Lots of stuff.
Like the politicians claim when they talk about Iran. For me, right now, everything's on the table. The difference being, that when I say it's all on the table, I'm not bullshitting. It's not the "Valley of Decision" or drastic stuff like that. It's just time for a sober assesment of what I would be pleased to find myself doing five years down the road from today. I know that living out of a suitcase, playing the current gig with only the next gig to look forward too doesn't really sound that attractive to me. As a matter of fact, it sounds like something I don't want to do.
I have some advantages other folks at this kind of crossroad don't have to face. I've already made enough money to truly retire. I'd have to totally scale back my lifestyle, cut back on spoiling the kids with material shit (although they are all pretty much set), but the possiblity of kicking back and spending most of the day reading books is on the table with everything else.
We shall see. I've felt like this before. I'm glad that I'm a pretty deliberate soul and not given to rash or drastic actions.
Then again, like Socrates said:An unexamined life is not worth living.
Peace ya'll.big brass blog