Peppermint Stick Ice Cream, With Pictures and variations

I'm watching the news from West Virginia and thinking to myself Wow, Hillary Clinton has the racist, hillbilly, cousin marrying, mouth breathing, ignorant, redneck, motherfucker's vote sewed right up. Keep playing to your benighted southern cracker ass base of voters Hills. Why not go all the fucking way and name Huckabee or Trent Fucking Lott as your VP? Out west, I'm making ice cream. That's how much West Goddamned Virgina and Kentucky matter to me. Once a year when they wear silly hats, sing Stephen Foster songs and try to kill a few more young horses is the amount of time I'll spend on Kentucky.

For Peppermint Stick Ice Cream I use Great Grandmother Anna's recipe, although I'm trying some variations for this batch.



We first beat up a pound of peppermint candies. Notice the folded towels underneath the cutting board, this makes the noise of hammering the candy a bit muted. Napping critters will appreciate this little touch.



Melt the candy chunks in 2 cups 1/2 and 1/2 over a high flame, stirring constantly.



Turn off the heat and go to the stand mixer. Beat 4 large eggs until smooth and lemon yellow.



Add in 3/4 cup sugar (I'm using raw sugar that has been sitting with vanilla bean husks), and three tablespoons cake flour.



Yes, I have a fine set of measuring spoons. Sometimes I even use them. I've won money in kitchens by measuring out teaspoons, 1/2 teaspoons, and tablespoons into my cupped hand and then using the measure to prove that I had it right.



Instead of 3/4 cup Karo® syrup, I'm using a vanilla coffee syrup. It's about the same consistency, and I figure that the added flavoring will be better than just overpowering sweetness.



Instead of a can of Eagle Brand, sweetened condensed milk I'm going with a cup and a half of heavy cream.

This is all mixed until smooth. It will be a lovely pink color, although if you want a little more throw in some liquid red, or powdered food coloring.





This goes into the container for your ice cream freezer, use equal amounts heavy cream and 1/2&1/2 to bring the volume up to the full line on your container; and, with the dasher in place and capped, refrigerate until chilled and ready to freeze.

The freezing process post will happen after Hillary Clinton wins a landslide victory in West Fuckyercuzzin Virginia and I still won't fucking care who those idiot bastards want for President.

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