Dishing With the Girlz

Showtime has a new series called Secret Diary of a Call Girl. The beautiful April came up with an idea for giving an insider's viewpoint of the series to check out how the accuracy thing goes.

After all, when you ask cops about cop shows, ball players about sports movies, musicians about musician movies, or warriors about war movies, the usual thing is to say "Nope, not even close." It's just the way fiction, and art work. If stuff was like real life it wouldn't be art.

The set up was for the jaw dropping gorgeous April and three of her friends from "work" to come over, I'd cook dinner and we'd all watch the show. The girls were free to call bullshit, or say what, if anything rang true.

On account of it's me, this was the menu.

Spinach Salad
Carne Asada
Arroz (a la España)
Quesedillas Especialles
lots of fresh tortillas, Salsa Bandera, Salsa Brava

For the two ladies who drink there was Bohemia and a cheeky Jaliscan Vino Tinto. The rest of us were having ice tea.

Dessert was Peach Pie a la mode (home made vanilla ice cream).

By the time dinner was finished at least two of the girls had mentioned that they now understand what it is April sees in me.

This was the first time we had been to meet on a social basis. I have seen one of the girls on campus at the J.C. where I taught strings, and I've the the other two around town. I don't know if I've ever seen them when they were working and, just like it is with April and I, those questions went unasked.

The set up for the show is that the young woman "Belle" (whose straight name is Hannah) is explaining her life.

Right off the bat the girls gave a big shout of approval for when she runs through the different names and levels of the sex trade and says, "It's just semantics and doesn't matter." Although she got some raised eyebrows when she says that one of the reasons she enjoys being a call girl is the sex. The girls here said that it's better to simply not mind the sex, that, for the most part, it is not all that memorable.

The first bullshit call was the way the business end of things is conducted. Belle says "Find out what the client wants and give it to them quickly." The way these girls work money between client and girl is never exchanged. Neither are the particulars of what's going to happen. The "agency" handles all of that. Collections are never done in cash (ask Governor Spitzer, cash is messy). By the time the client and the girl are together in person, the business is already completely handled.

As far as the time thing goes, the girls didn't call bullshit, but they said that their operation works on a very different basis. The client either has an open credit card, or a line of credit paid up in some other way. This protects both the clients and the girls. By never actually having to negotiate out loud, that little legal nicety is observed, making any kind of legal hassling harder, and the girls are never tempted to try and skim cash or otherwise cheat the agency. It's just easier all around.

The girls totally dished the small section about Belle's personal life. Especially the part where she says "I keep my business and my life separate, and never the twain shall meet." The girls say that it is impossible to separate this. Either the people in your life, boyfriends, close family, roommates, etc, all know and are in on the hustle, or things tend to get too far out of control. They all agreed that the first boyfriend shown is a douche who most likely won't last long. If he's that clueless about the woman he's hanging around with he's too clueless to hang.

The "safety" call is accurate. All the girls say that this is an important part of the job. They also said that they have a "panic" button for speed dial on their phones should anything start to make them nervous or seem like it's about to all go south.

Another subplot is that Belle meets with a first time client who is young, good looking and isn't able to get things done. Belle shows a lot of consternation. Professional Pride is big with these girls. If someobody doesn't respond in the expected way, they want to know why. At the very end, there is a message from the agency where the client wants "Hannah," the real name, instead of Belle. All the girls say that this would never happen. If a real name is given or slipped, it's the end of that client, and most likely would come from the client's end of the transaction.

The main thing these girls are selling is privacy and discretion. They would not allow this to be violated.

The girls enjoyed the show, and the dinner enough to agree to join me for the next episode. I'm at work on the menu as we speak. I'm thinking a nice Phad Thai and ginger ice cream. . .

3B's