Cantelope Ice Cream

So, let's recap the week so far. The 4th Amendment is on its way to being a thing of the past. Ralph Nader tries to get some attention by talking like an ignorant cracker who knows the level of blackitude that Barack Obama can demonstrate without making people feel all icky inside. President Bush insults the President of the Philipines and just about every Philipino within earshot by reminding them all that in his White House they are the fucking help. Oh, and let us not forget that maybe the North Koreans aren't evil crazy motherfuckers. At least we know that Stalinist dictatorships won't go all Muslim on us and shit.

At least Atonin Scalia and his brethern on the Supreme Court made it legal for folks in Washington D.C. to own firearms. It will come in handy should they feel like shooting themselves in shame over the shit they've pulled the last seven years.

Fuck that. Fuck them. I'm making ice cream. Right now in the deserts of Southern California we are having our crops of melon come in. One of the beautiful things about living where they grow this stuff is that when you see a field of cantelope or other melons being picked there is a great chance that there will be somebody by the side of the field selling the culls off cheap. Culls are the melons that are too vine ripened to pack and ship. They are bursting with flavor and juice and all kinds of wonderful goodness. The field workers sell them for a few cents each to raise beer money. I am glad to help. I used to spend every summer in these same fields. It was the way I could afford to buy clothes, shoes and books for the next school year. It's hard, honest work. Which is how republicans describe jobs that don't pay for shit.

INGREDIENTS

2 large, very ripe cantelopes
2 lemons, juiced
2 1/2 cups sugar
6 large eggs
4 cups heavy cream
2 cups 1/2 & 1/2
2 tablespoons vanilla extract
1 tablespoon almond extract

Cut, seed, and slice the cantelope into chunks.


Puree this in a food processor and put into a large mixing bowl.


Halve and juice two lemons making sure that you remove all the seeds from the juice. *hint* If you roll the lemon before halving it you'll make it easier to release all the juice.


Add the lemon juice to the cantelope puree and put them both into a large strainer over a large bowl. Use a spatula to gently agitate the puree to release as much of the juice as you can.

Take the remaining pulp and put into an airtight container and refrigerate.


Set the juice aside.


Scald the cream and half & half in a heavy saucepan. While that's going on beat the eggs until lemon yellow and add in the sugar. Beat until very smooth.


Add in the extracts.


Temper in the scalded cream and half & half, adding slowly at first to avoid scrambling the eggs and ruining the consistency of the ice cream base. Then, add in the cantelope/lemon juice, put it into the freezer container for your freezer, cap and refrigerate overnight.


I'll cover the freezing process tomorrow. Think about the cantelope pulp like Chekov's gun.

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