Oh Sharon (What Do You Do To These Men?)
She was in the afternoon group on Saturday. She didn't pass the fifty question test. She did go however, she got that far.
Her life is more complicated than I had imagined though. It seems that the asshole she was with is not only her boss, he's married to someone else.
I am nobody's poster child for the institution of marraige. As a matter of fact, my very own mother calls me "her weed in the garden of matrimony." I have no moral high ground to take with Sharon's boyfriend when it comes to infidelity. I have transgressed way too many times myself. She's also only 28. I have a daughter who is 32 and another who is 23. I have needle tracks and gunshot scars that are older than 28.
We talked for about an hour. I just told her that nothing about her personal life is any of my business unless she chooses to tell me something first and follows that by asking me what I think.
She told, she asked, and I said "If what you have is something that is OK with you then go ahead. The fact that you're bringing it up leads me to believe otherwise. That being the case, I can't counsel you to break it off, he's your boss, that could turn disasterous. I've been divorced four times and the closest thing I have to a continuing relationship is with a woman who works as an escort in Palm Springs. I'm not the guy you should ask about how to find a long term, committed relationship. You could find a therapist and see if that helps. One of my neighbors is a psychologist and she might be able to help you find your way through all of this. If what you want is a friend that will listen to you without judging you, I think I can do that. You'd probably get along better with my twenty four year old daughter though. Next time she's up for a visit you two can meet. She's way more together than I am. I ask her for advice all the time. You can come out and go riding anytime you want. Just from a casual glance, I'm sure that you can do better than you're doing and that you deserve to have someone who is devoted to you alone. I'm a good bet for listening, Sun's games, backstage passes to concerts, and chocolate truffles."
We're meeting at the arena for the next home game. I'm bringing her a box of truffles. If nothing else she gets chocolate. That's more than she's getting now.
posted by The Minstrel Boy at 5:05 PM
6 Comments:
I actually believe you have no ulterior motives here, MB. No, really, I do.
if there is an ulterior motive it is that if i show up to a game with yet another great looking young girl the other season ticket holders in my section will think i am a love god. they haven't figured out that the pool girls are gay. they haven't figured out that i ain't get any of any of them. what they see is the goofy old guitar player who keeps showing up to the games with gorgeous young women who seem to enjoy the hell out of his company. if i have learned anything from my long list of disasters it is this.
sometimes women can be attracted by the flash and glamour that they perceive from the music business. the part they never see is the sheer drudgery of it. once they start realizing that i practice four to six hours a day on my days "off" it all starts to pale. that's when they start noticing that even when i'm not practicing i can be very distracted and remote. that's because there's a part of my head that's still working on that track that just doesn't want to fit like it should. or there's another voicing or (the list of the ors can be endless) then there's the part about how i've been a single parent for fourteen years now, and i still have a lot of things left to figure out when it comes to dealing with the kids i have now. then comes the part where the phone rings and i announce that i have to go to vegas or l.a. for a week and that my plane's leaving in three hours.
factor all this prior knowledge in with the fact that i haven't ever been able to make anything work longterm in the fifty seven years i've been alive and it just begins to look way smarter to be glad that i've found a friend maybe. i'd rather have a friend right now. i also think that's what she needs anyway. i've gotten better about being a friend. i probably still am a shitty lover.
Well, Paul, maybe you have a point about ulterior motives, but it isn't the one you implied. If you were a regular reader of this blog, you would have already figured out that M-B is at a point in his life where he pretty much is past playing those sorts of devious games. A man who will flat out admit to the God of all Ropers that he just doesn't want to go out in the cold is past false vanity of the sort that you imply. Maybe other vanities, but not that one.
Jayz, Badtux, I wasn't implying anything. My comment was face value. MB's response was about how I had it figured. I'm 57 too, and I know the territory.
I still say don't block anything romantic if it begins to happen. When I was a teenager - the men I dated were in their 30's and 40's. That was by my choice. Yes - most of the straight men I met in the entertainment business WERE older; but it went beyond that. I was an intelligent, articulate young woman who wanted more out of a relationship than just fucking. I wanted a man I could talk to, learn from. Older guys were ideal. Later, when I aged, I found myself drawn to younger guys. Most men my age had calcified. Their experiences with modern culture didn't go past college days. I've always kept current. Younger men were more - flexible.
My point in all this is - she may prefer someone intelligent and articulate too. As for the havoc being an artist wreaks on personal relationships…..young or old that's gonna be a factor, honey. And I understand what you mean by what’s going on in your head all the time. My husband and I have been together for years - and he still gets really impatient with me when I tell him I have to go and write something because my mind is on the beat and I can't lose it. And yes - there are times I drift out; thinking, chewing over a concept. I’m not being rude - it’s the nature of the beast. Not everyone can live with that. Frankly - I'm not even sure I could! :)
Sorry about jumping to conclusions, Paul. Seemed to me that you were implying a bit more, but obviously I was wrong. Probably should have kept my yap shut, because M-B can definitely take care of himself in that regard :-}.
-BT
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