Angel Food Cake

I'm at my mother's house, it's my baby sister's birthday and she asked for Angel Food. I love this
cake. I have a recipe from my great grandmother that I use. Here it is. I'm using her wording,
from the card in the box she gave me. You'll have to imagine the t'ick irish accent yourself.
There's art and alchemy in the angel food cake, but when they work, oh lordy, they're good.

Measure and sift together three times, 1 cup sifted cake flour, and 7/8 cup (3/4 cup plus 2 tbsp)
sugar. (you can't skip the sifting folks, your texture depends on it, I've tried and paid the price for
it).

In a large, steep sided bowl put 14 egg whites (if you know anybody with chickens the fresher the
eggs the better) at room temperature, to separate the yolks, you will want to have a small bowl to
do the separation in, and a bowl for the yolks. If there is a speck of yolk in your egg white, put it,
bowl and all aside for the omelettes you make later, get another small bowl and keep going. The
yolks you set aside are the best reason I can think of to make a hollandaise soon. 1/2 teaspoon
cream of tartar, 1/4 teaspoon salt (non iodized if possible) 1 1/4 teaspoon vanilla extract (spend
your money get the real shit), 1 teaspoon almond extract. Have on the side 3/4 cup of sugar.

Now here's where the witchcraft starts. I love my exotic kitchen gadgets. My big, huge, high
fucking horsepower kitchenaide mixer with the attachments and powered sex toy hookups, but
with angel food, I don't go there. I whip by hand. I can't understand the physics or chemistry
enough to explain why this makes for a better cake. I just know it. Angel food is all about
texture. When I whip by hand the texture is better. Don't know why, just know it is. I have a
flat, wire spoony type thing gran gave me a long time ago, that's what I use. A good french whisk
will do the trick if your gran didn't love you as much as mine did me. Deal with it.

Beat the egg white mixture gently at first. Use a vertical, circular motion, remembering that you
are trying to incorporate air at this stage. When it gets uniformly foamy begin adding a
tablespoon at a time of sugar. When the sugar's all in get busy whipping. Whip until your arm
falls off, then switch arms. You want (quoting gran here) stiff, straight peaks. Don't
forget to scrape the sides down with a spatula as you do this.

Now, gently, gradually, carefully, fold the flour/sugar stuff into the stiff whites. You want to do
this in a way that will not break more of the little bubbles of egg white you so tediously whipped
up. To keep myself entertained and in the proper mood I usually sing to myself at this point. Something lilting and quiet like The Skye Boat Song or Baidin Fheilimi. The trick here is to be gentle but thorough, the bubbles must be preserved while mixing because they are what will give the lightness and resilience to your end product. Once done, gently
turn into an angel food cake pan (that's the one with the posty coney thing in the middle and no, a
bundt pan will not fucking do).

Now, give the pan several sharp raps on the counter (put a towel down first so you don't scare the
cats) to start the bigger bubbles moving, then take a thin blade knife (a filet blade works well)
and cut rapidly through the batter to pop any lurkers there might be. A few more raps, then put it
in the center rack of a cold oven. Again, I don't know why this step is so critical, but it is.
Turn the heat to 300° and set a timer for fifty minutes. At fifty minutes you should have a
light brown puffy top. If it's perfect, it will slightly bulge over the top of the pan. Now check the
cake every five minutes. You want a nice rich golden brown but if your cake starts to fall even a
little bit take it out. If you can make a full hour without any falling you've done well with your
whipping. At an hour, it should be enough.

Cool the cake completely inverted on a bottle. To remove from the pan use a thin, flexible blade
and pop it out. Use the knife to cut around the bottom and the coney posty part and place on your
serving plate.

To serve, cut nice wedges and top with fresh sliced strawberries, fresh peaches (or you can go
apeshit and melba them), I have also been known to cube this cake and dip them in
tempered chocolate (totally sinful, that's why I like it) and serve.

What you will find in a well made angel food cake is tenderness, an absence of crumbs, and
lightness. Sublime, wonderfull, lightness. You can put the fears of any dieters to rest by stating
that there's zero fat in my cake which won't account for the sugars but hey, take your
stand and they won't mess with you.

Mom's fucking cable just went out again so I'm going to transfer this to Notepad and post it when
I can.

As always, with Harp and Sword recipes, I will be ready to give advice, counsel, and
technical support if you wish it. Try it and let me know how you do. Gran will be smilin' on
your success.