Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Truffle Contest

I thought it over. Couldn't come up with anything dramatic or snarky so I thought that I'd simply turn things over to you.

There are two prizes up for grabs. First prize is a dozen truffles, free shipping included.

Second prize a dozen truffles free, you pay the shipping.

Third prize, you're fired. (sorry just channeling alec baldwin)

So here's the deal. You guys nominate the one you feel is deserving.

Since everybody will see what's going on with it there won't even be a chance for bribery. Damn. I was kind of counting on some decent bribes this time around.


Since this is a make it up as we go along contest I thought it might be time for a small clarification. The nominations are for people. If there are nominations for somebody who has already ordered and paid it might work as a vote for a second place (where I won't email them with the shipping costs). Then, it might help to subsidise somebody who wasn't nominated but is still deserving. I count that as a pretty cool way of bribery. Anyway, we'll work it out as we go. I will expose all cases of corruption with shameless glee.


Anonymous waddayaknow said...

Looking forward to whatever comes in my dozen just ordered. My vote would go to a ganache using 50% Theobroma Dark Midnight Expresso. So I will vote for the Classic Bittersweet.

9:33 AM  
Blogger Deb said...

I nominate the Dark Wraith, he is most deserving. Besides, he's already getting my white chocolate truffles and I think he just rocks.

All your truffles are my favorites, I can't pick just one.

9:48 AM  
Blogger trog69 said...

Do I pick the recipient or the truffle they should receive?

10:12 AM  
Blogger Marc said...

My 2ยข:

Send some Missouri Mules way -- needs the boost to bloodsugar to keep the cold at bay. Second place to Mustang Bobby for congrats on the play.

10:27 AM  
Blogger trog69 said...

I nominate deb, with the Frangelico-infused dark chocolate, if that helps any. After repeatedly attempting to play nice with a certain troll at BBB, with backhands to her lifestyle as the results, she is truly deserving of a small (just a dozen, not a Baker's dozen!) treat to remind her that it's not just a sea of assholes out here...there remain a few dolphins trying to help out.

10:28 AM  
Blogger Missouri Mule said...

The hell with the Dark Wraith.
That gumpy old man. Besides, he's a womanizer to boot. If he were passing through your region, and his car broke down, he would not hesitate to sleep with your daughters (and sons).

The Dark Wraith;
Soft of defense
Soft of crime
Soft of fabric
Soft of White Chocolate

The Dark Wraith: Friend of Draftdogers.

10:30 AM  
Blogger The Minstrel Boy said...

goddamn ms. mule, will there ever come a day in the blue eyed world where you quit soft pedaling and just come right out and say what you think?

10:33 AM  
Blogger Phydeaux said...

I still think the person who almost won your last contest (whomever that was) should win this one.

Cause nobody wants to receive truffles second hand.


10:58 AM  
Blogger Deb said...

Thank you trog69, I appreciate the support. And not just for the truffles. :)

I'm still regretting letting my brother have one last year. This year I have a plan for each and every truffle. They always get a little ceremony and an appropriate liqueur to accompany them. Mom gets a real kick out of it. I cut one in half and we each savor every flavor. It's my new version of the twelve days of Christmas.

So an extra dozen wouldn't go to waste. My hips and ass yes, but not to waste.

11:06 AM  
Anonymous Dark Wraith said...

Good afternoon, Minstrel Boy.

A certain woman of less than ill repute has besmirched—indeed, pilloried and molested—my foul name, and in so doing has befarted the very nation, the Lord, and various of the young and quivering conquests of my youth.

To the matter of having slept with more than my share of tawdry individuals, I can assert that this, in fact, is a bald-faced lie: truth be told, I never slept a wink while in the boudoir of the occasional pair of buttocks.

And as to the charge that I am soft on crime, this, too is a prevarication with no basis in truth. In fact, many have been the times when I, myself, was compelled to apply the firm yet loving hand of justice to the recalcitrant backside of a wayward person who had shown insufficient discipline in my presence.

It is, of course, a difficult task, but one I daresay I have faced with honor, dignity, and the pointed question about who makes the best French cream pies.

And furthermore, to the background of this whole matter, while I consider myself a discrete gentleman who would not tell tales from his bedroom or dungeon, I must at least point out that the young Ms. Mule has ulterior motives for her scurrilous and altogether presumptuous assault upon my character. Without a hint of braggardliness, I tell you now that she is less than the unsullied, objective observer, she being a woman whose company I kept, entertained, and in no small measure brought to the Lord Jesus as she called "O God!" and to equestrian enlightenment as she blurted, "You horse!"

I shall say no more upon that delicate and private matter, leaving to the astute reader such imagination as may befit the occasion of having now seen the deleterious effects upon a woman, once fulfilled, now denied.

We must, in the interlude, look to the future. The spiritually uplifting message from the Dark Wraith is herewith offered:

Today might be the last day of your life; but even if it isn't, tomorrow will be worse.

The Dark Wraith has thus and thoroughly laid to rest all doubts about his stoicism in the adversity of those with Presbyterian leanings.

11:14 AM  
Blogger Deb said...

I guess all is fair in love and war. This truffle contest is quite entertaining. I'm learning such interesting stuff about my fellow bloggers.

11:34 AM  
Anonymous tata said...

I'm skeert! How did this online contest go full contact?

3:02 PM  
Blogger Krista said...

This is fun to watch! I already ordered my 8 truffles, finances dictating that I could not get 12 (sigh). I have no clue who to nominate, so I will just observe the proceedings...

3:14 PM  
Anonymous Dark Wraith said...

Don't look at me, tata.

I was minding my own business getting my keynote speech ready for the Annual Combination Midwest Foursquare Gospel Revival and Carnival of Human Sacrifice when I got this message from Minstrel Boy that things were getting rowdy over here.

The Dark Wraith decided he should deal with the tomfoolery before it all turned into something that would detract from audience attention to his keynote speech.

3:19 PM  
Blogger Sherry said...

i nominate the two little girls that rode horses at your ranch

3:20 PM  
Blogger The Minstrel Boy said...

the beautiful girls are already on the list. on the 28th i will be in arizona prior to taking the new niece up to the rez for her naming ceremony and acceptance into the clan. we are having a full day of bbq, chocolate, and general revelry.

hop in and mix it up krista! it's all in good fun and there's chocolate at stake. you might even score a second place. one never knows do one?

and wraith, i doubt that there could ever be any attention paid to a keynote by you that was not rapt. plain fear alone should suffice. although when i was reading the exchange between you and the mule lady all i could think of was that one night when my ponytail was firmly grabbed and a delighted woman shouted

boy howdy! a stampede string!

it was a memorable night indeed.

3:32 PM  
Blogger konagod said...

Third prize, you're fired. (sorry just channeling alec baldwin)
Ha! How appropriate, him and his big brass balls!

4:14 PM  
Blogger konagod said...

I like the idea of Mustang Bobby for a congratulatory gift, and I'm equally inclined to vote for Phydeaux out of guilt for keeping the book so damn long.

Let's do this:

1st price nomination: Phydeaux, because paying the rent on the Winnebago has gotta suck, and

2nd place nomination: Mustang Bobby, because he's gonna be so filthy rich someday he can afford the shipping.

How's that for logic? :lol:

4:21 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...

You boys have given me a smile.

My nomination goes to Dark W. -- something with liqueur, to get him off his high horse (just by a hand or two). And I sense he will savor them properly, and not huff them down as he might be inclined to do with, say, a Hostess Twinkie. Should he flirt with such lightweight frippery, that is, which I somehow doubt.

4:24 PM  
Anonymous tata said...

I nominate my Evil Twin Effluvia so we could both taste delicious handmade chocolates!

5:18 PM  
Blogger Sherry said...

i'm glad the little girls will be with you again. i didn't know who else to nominate. i don't know everyone there as you do.

say hello to silas if you see him. o.k? if he puts sweetened condesed milk in coffee i'll bet he adores your truffles.

5:55 PM  
Blogger Sherry said...

sweet sugary goodness!

5:58 PM  
Anonymous Dark Wraith said...

Good evening, Lisa.

You are correct: I am most decidedly not a Hostess Twinkie sort.

Mastodon with caramel topping, yes.

Wild boar with a hint of vanilla bean, definitely.

But not Hostess Twinkies.

...unless, of course, they're for dipping in espresso; then, maybe.

The Dark Wraith will try anything that involves coffee at least once.

6:10 PM  
Blogger The Minstrel Boy said...

silas has his very own box already claimed. it was his idea to do the naming and the adoption into the clan right away. he just sensed that this little girl needs family big time. we will be going into the dreams to see if there are any ancestors who claim this child, if not, we will simply trust our eyes in vision.

6:34 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...


I enjoy that you betray your bestial past. Twinkies too much conjure up Archie Bunker, though I did love them as a girl. However, a more refined cousin -- ladyfingers -- would be acceptable accompaniment to an espresso. (Why is it cream filling makes the thing proletarian?)

I think you should still win for skillfully walking the tightrope of a courtly yet unvarnished mien.

9:11 PM  
Blogger seventh sister said...

I think any free truffles should go to the pool girls, but I bet you already have them covered.

9:16 PM  
Blogger Krista said...

Honestly, I nominate myself for the contest, not for myself exactly. My son has in-home staff who are wonderful people and horribly underpaid for what they do in keeping him home and in the community. I want to win the truffles to give to them as a thank you gift.

As for the other nominations- I just really started reading recently, so I am not sure who is who yet. :)

10:08 PM  
Blogger trog69 said...

I would like to say to those thinking about nominating DW, even after that kiss and tell give and take we were forced to witness, his keynote address is kind of a...goodby coda, since he's the main event at the carnival, immediately following the Revival. Oh Ebon One, please reconsider...Twinkees are just the bee's knees!

10:36 PM  
Anonymous Dark Wraith said...

This whole conversation, in a broad and cosmic kind of way, makes sense.

The Dark Wraith didn't put nearly enough Marsala wine in the tiramisu cake.

11:06 PM  
Blogger Marc said...

DW, you haven't event met the hostess, Twinkie, so how can you say 'no' before you've met?

11:43 PM  
Anonymous Dark Wraith said...

Because I'd already heard about the Hostess Ho-Hos, but I'm saving my cash for holiday shopping.

The Dark Wraith should probably go and be alone for a while, now.

11:54 PM  
Blogger Deb said...

Would that be your "private, alone time", otherwise known as DW time?

I'm starting a new group. Whores for Chocolate, there are no low points we won't sink to in order to enjoy a freebie.

12:18 AM  
Blogger trog69 said...

Bah-zing! Damn, I'd pay cash for straight lines like that one!

4:16 AM  
Blogger Missouri Mule said...

Marc, thank you for your kind nomination. Don't think for a Missouri moment that I couldn't win this contest if not for my crippling lack of likeability.

To those who have nomintated or voted for the Dark Wraith; May I draw your attention to his unique ability to convert or "spin" any piece of remotely negative information into a postive. In short, he is a liar.
He is a tightwad, cheapskate, miser, skinflint, Madison Avenue refugee, and has goofy

It's a tribute to my character that I even confess to this but, I've seen that man eat a crate of Hostess Twinkies covered with fruit coctail. He may be too proud to admit it, but I think pride of this sort is a sin.
Yup, he's Flip-flopper.

6:16 AM  
Blogger Sherry said...

i like silas tho we will never meet. i figured he'd be a sweets lover. : )

6:36 AM  
Anonymous tata said...

I have never found fruit cocktail so terrifying in all my life.

7:40 AM  
Blogger Lisa said...

Miss Mule,

The key question is, was the fruit cocktail of the high fructose, heavy syrup variety, or marinated in natural fruit juices? Because I believe it would be less of a sin if it were the latter.

What DW really needs to watch out for is the Devil Dogs. In our p.c. world, I do not know if Hostess even still makes them, but they had no redeeming quality, other than their scabrous name. At least the Ho-Ho's (another unfortunate label) which he mentions had the veneer of a faux ganache to redeem them. Not so the Devil Dog.

I still think he is best to stick with the savoiardi/ladyfingers to accompany his coffee, as it will also slake some of his more salacious tendencies.

12:03 PM  
Anonymous Dark Wraith said...

This place needs a band.

Maybe some kind of Bluegrass-Goth fusion with a touch of '40s Swing.

The Dark Wraith knows how to thin the herd.

12:38 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...

You'll have to do better than that. A most unpalatable pastiche, I'm afraid. You shall be left alone in Dante's fifth circle with your devil dogs on that one.

I picture the participants to arrive dressed for the set of "Picnic," but getting David Lynch to film, instead. A more frightening experience than "Blue Velvet," to be sure.

1:04 PM  
Blogger Rez Dog said...

before I read any others, I nominate the Sergeant Major's faimily for one of the two. Don't know which. I may second some others, too.

1:07 PM  
Blogger konagod said...

Maybe some kind of Bluegrass-Goth fusion with a touch of '40s Swing.
Let me see what I can piece together. There's gotta be something like that coursing through the YouTubes.

1:15 PM  
Blogger The Minstrel Boy said...

i've seen some of the real old hillbillies who in their natural state manage that whole Bluegrass-Goth image. them ol' boys are straight outta james dickey and harry crews.

1:58 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...

With konagod's and MB's new input, I see DW is not being so subversive as he initially thought. We must be strong and able to swing with such revelers at this debate.

Certainly, if we all are confronting the best this administration can dish, we must not quail in the face of bluegrass -goth hillbillies. In a sense, the image of Mr. Cheney toting the shotgun would put any of Dickey's characters to shame.

You have not thinned the important crowd, DW.

3:16 PM  

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