Monday, August 06, 2007

Road Story

This is from my wild, indulgent, reckless and mispent youth. It still cracks me up to remember. I was reminded of this by my blogging inspiration litbrit so I will begin by assigning all the blame to her. (I'm practicing my republican blame shifting moves)

I was booked in the common back up band to a Dick Clark All Stars of Rock and Roll tour. Dick, being a savvy business kind of guy realized that if he hired a core combo of versatile professional players that the groups who mainly were all about their singers (like the Doo Wop bands), all about the singer (Dion Manucci), and the other headliners the changes in between acts and the sheer size of the tour would be reduced considerably. It was fun. We were playing great 50's and pre-Beatles 60's tunes (I think this was sometime in the early 80's)and taking our bus and truck caravan all over the country. We played lots of ballparks, lots of county fairs, while averaging four shows a week and thousands of miles of asphalt.

By the time we hit Phoenix we all knew and enjoyed being around each other. We were booked at a fairly new, fairly swank Hyatt Regency downtown. We had four different gigs within decent driving range of downtown so we were also enjoying a nice break from sleeping on the bus and stuff.

The only problem was that we were booked into this hotel at the same time as a huge Shriner's convention. Don't get me wrong, I love the charity stuff the Shriners do, it's a noble thing to help burned kids. It's just that when they get together and put on their funny hats they can be kind of overbearing.

We finally, after about two days of drinking in bars full of Shriners, eating in restaurants full of Shriners, waiting for our bus standing around groups of Shriners, just retreated to our own floor of the hotel. We ordered room service instead of going out, brought back bottles (sometimes cases of bottles) to our room instead of going to the bars and were mainly trying to keep to ourselves.

Usually after we got back from the show a room or two would be designated as "party central" and we would gather to unwind and jam and entertain what ever local road cookies managed to finagle a bus ride back to the hotel with us. All was going well. The Shriners were having their fun, we were having ours.

Let me make this part of the story very clear.

It wasn't me that started the water fight.
It wasn't me that escalated the water fight from squirt guns to ice buckets filled in the bathtub.
It wasn't me that started any of the wet towel action.
It certainly wasn't me that started the wet pillow fight.

I was, however, the guy that took the firehose off the wall, charged it and then hit the "UP" button on the elevator. When the doors opened on an elevator full of Shriners I was the hippie that hosed them down like civil rights marchers on a bridge in Alabama.

That was me.
I'm still laughing about that one.



Blogger Phydeaux Speaks said...


8:30 PM  
Blogger Stephen said...

Fantastic! Thanks for sharing that one.

9:01 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


- oddjob

5:50 AM  
Blogger litbrit said...

Hee heeeee!

You remind me of my 6-month stint as a personal assistant for a concert promoter. When we did the Van Halen/Rolling Stones show, we hung out with the VH guys afterwards, and wound up running from Alex VH when he yanked a fire extinguisher off the wall and started spraying people with the foam. God knows how toxic that stuff might have been?!

David Lee Roth literally stepped on me when climbing over a sofa to get to the bar. Actually stepped on my lap while balancing his wobbly self by gripping my shoulder with one hand, the ungentlemanly slug. He has terrible skin, by the way. And did I mention that he is a big, heavy slug of a man? With fried hair?! Because he is. Or rather, was--that hair is pretty much gone these days. :)

More road stories, please. I loves them.

5:54 AM  
Anonymous Constant Comment said...

that hosed them down like civil rights marchers on a bridge in Alabama

Now, there's an image for you! :lol:

7:30 AM  
Blogger Sherry said...

oh that made my day. i can almost see it even if i have no idea what you looked like then or now other than "hippie"

oh my ,more please. thanks. : )

10:07 AM  
Blogger nunya said...

That was funny, thanks for the laugh!

11:42 AM  
Blogger Susan said...

lol ;)

1:44 PM  
Blogger Boxer rebel said...


5:06 PM  
Blogger seventh sister said...

I've heard some pretty funny road stories from some of my musician friends but this is oneof the funniest yet.

4:28 PM  
Blogger Bitty said...

Sir, you are quite the raconteur!

6:12 PM  
Blogger Vox Populi said...

that's the BEST story I've read in MONTHS !!

thank you.

2:16 PM  
Anonymous amish451 said...

Haaawwww ....shriners a bit overbearing, understatement of the century ...'that' is what firehoses are there for ...

And litbrit ..I've always suspected DLR was an ass ....suspicion confirmed ..

1:42 PM  
Blogger angry ballerina said...

omg you're my hero

7:59 AM  

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