Wednesday, February 21, 2018

Matzo Ball Soup.

since nobody really reads this blog i'm going to start just posting stuff that i might send as an email and put it here so it's easier for somebody else to find. just in case and shit.

since i wasn't expecting to blog this, i'm just going to run with what i got and do it better later. the concept is "the adult cooking show," where the goofy, self absorbed musician is retired from the road, and starting a chocolate truffle business. the neighbor is a young stripper, who he met at an AA meeting, found out they were in the same apartment complex, which is ironic because their friendship is nothing if not complex.

tonight's episode is Matzo Ball Soup. where we make matzo ball soup and watch "mozart in the jungle."

there's the matzo ball soup. best tip from chef. there's always extra broth. freeze it. use it to start the next batch. it only gets better from there.


whole chicken (if it has head and feets so much the better), 1 yellow onion chopped, 8 carrots peeled sliced thick, parsnip peeled chopped (tip, when peeling and chopping put the peels and ends in a nut bag or muslin, that way you can take them out easy later it really puts teeth in the broth) 1 bunch dill chopped, salt, pepper, white pepper, 3 clove garlic.

2 1/2 cup matzo meal, 6 eggs, 6 T olive oil, 2 t salt, 1/4 cup reserved hot broth

chicken goes breast down in a big ass pot where you have at least 3" of water covering. bring to a boil. while that happens chop the veggies and dump in as you go. salt pepper taste. simmer 2 hours partially covered.

take out the chicken, put it in a bowl to cool. keep the broth at a simmer. smash the garlic cloves. add.

mix the eggs and the oil together, mix into the meal, temper in the hot broth. chill. bring a pot of water to a boil.

bone the chicken. discard the skin and bones. chunk the meat put it in.the soup. squish the liver. toss it in. (unless you reserve livers for chopped liver, you have to make a shit load of soup to make that worth it) giblets. chop. in.

bring out the chilled matzo, make balls with wet hands, remember these will blow up on you. drop them one by one into the boiling water, drop to simmer, cover, 35 minutes, or until they drop. transfer to the soup.

simmer, covered, one more hour. serve. you deserve this.

riley and i were watching "mozart in the jungle" eating our soup and one of the characters was described as a "musical, magical elf" and riley punched me. i put it on pause.

me: ow! (punched again) ow! quit the hitting! why? (punch)

r: because. (punch)

me: really. quit. because why?

r: because dickhead, that's you.

me: me? really? (punch thrown caught in right hand and gently held) i said stop. really. that's how you see me?

r: yeah dude. really.

me: cool i guess. i love the character. he just pisses me off sometimes being all goofy and self absorbed.

r: told ya. you. bingo.

me: (resumes play, slurps soup noisily, just like a goofy, self absorbed jerk)

after a bit, the character who got called "musical, magical elf" sees another character, a young strange prodigy pick up a five string banjo, strum it once, get the set of the strings, and begin to play bach's "concerto for cello in g." prodigy gets asked if he ever picked up a banjo before, says "no." guy who got called elf, points at the kid and says "elf."

i sock riley.


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