Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Going for the joke instead

I wanted to write something profound about the President's veto of the stem cell research bill. All I come up with is motherfucker, asshole, phoney hypocritical cocksucking son of a bitch then back to motherfucking motherfucker.

Since that word is stuck in my head I'll go with another favorite musician's joke. From the great Moms Mabely (who gave me my words to live by "don't start none, won't be none)...

There is this preacher who has a big ass revival meeting scheduled. The hall is rented and everything is in place until the organ player has to leave town (something about a choirgirl or boy anyway he had to leave fast). The piano player has a hangnail and can't do it, the guitar player's stoned. He can't find anybody to play for the service that night.

He sets the deacon to canvas the crowd and find out if there is a musician that is willing to play. Right before the service begins the deacon brings up this little old man and says "This guy says he's a piccolo player and he has it with him." There isn't time to do anything but go on with what he has so they set the little old man and his piccolo up near the altar and prepare to make the best of the situation.

Things start out bad. The man doesn't know the hymns that the preacher is calling for and his sight reading is awful. The tone of the instrument is piercing and unpleasant. The preacher determines to soldier through. Ignoring the horrid sounds coming from the choir loft, he continues to preach. They come to another hymn and right in the middle of the song somebody from the congregation shouts out:

"The piccolo player's a motherfucker!"

There is stunned silence in the the church. The preacher doesn't know quite how to deal with this. He tries to start the singing again but before he can make much headway there's another shout from the congregation:

"The piccolo player's a motherfucker!"

Silence again. The preacher is now thoroughly pissed off. He glares out over the congregation and says:

"This here's a house of God. We are supposed to control our tongues better. Who was it that just called my piccolo player a motherfucker?"

Silence.

"Will the man what called my piccolo player a motherfucker, will he raise his hand?"

Silence.

"Then, will the man sittin' next to the man what called my piccolo player a motherfucker, will he raise his hand?"

Nothing.

"Then will the man sittin next to the man sittin next to the man what called my piccolo player a motherfucker, will he raise his hand?"

Silence.

"Then will the man sittin next to the man sittin next to the man sittin next to the man what called my piccolo player a motherfucker, will he raise his hand?"

All the way in the back, a man rises.

The preachers asks "Why did you call my piccolo player a motherfucker in the house of God?"

The man says "Preacher, you misunderstand me. I am not the man what called your piccolo player a motherfucker. I'm not the man sittin next to the man what called your piccolo player a motherfucker. I'm not the man sittin next to the man sittin next to the man what called your piccolo player a motherfucker. I'm not even the man sittin next to the man sittin next to the man sittin next to the man sittin Next To The MAN, what called your piccolo player a motherfucker."

The preacher says "Then why you standin here?"

The man says "Preacher, I want to know, who called that Motherfucker a piccolo player?"




George W. Bush is a piccolo playin motherfucker.

UPDATE

by clicking here you can sign the petition urging republican congressmen to vote for over ride. It is probably as futile a gesture as pissing at the stars to put out their fire, but hey, it's a gesture nonetheless.

18 Comments:

Blogger lisa_emily said...

That was a bit of a funny joke- haha!

Actually I always think of Bush as a used-panty-liner sniffing, viagra junkie myself.

12:21 PM  
Blogger The Minstrel Boy said...

piccolo is perfect for him though, it's short skinny and you play it sideways.

11:39 PM  
Blogger SB Gypsy said...

Done! thanks for the link


and what a great joke! *chuckle*

9:12 AM  
Blogger The Minstrel Boy said...

Moms was the best baby sitter a boy could ask for. I started out on the road with Da when I was very young. Since we were playing bars and burlesque joints there wasn't a lot for me to do during the time I was waiting for my one or two songs a set. She taught me a lot of things every boy should know, how to cheat at cards, how to spot a phony deal, how to play craps. The only person I've ever known with a comparable set up is Pauley Shore whose babysitter was Sam Kineson.

9:46 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Funny joke, but your facts are wrong. Bush is not against stem cell research, he is against tax payer's money funding the bill for it. Free enterprise does a lot better job.

Typical uninformed, uneducated liberal!

9:06 PM  
Blogger The Minstrel Boy said...

and you are a stupid delusional cocksucker. you haven't brains enough to see things that are right in front of you.

bite me asshole, get over it, i heard the voice of the people speak in november they said you were a motherfucker.

9:31 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

cant be any better than the black
piccolo player thats in there now!

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2:35 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

piccolo is perfect for him though, it's short skinny and you play it sideways.piccolo is perfect for him though, it's short skinny and you play it sideways.

2:36 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The voice you heard is everyone wanting something for free. Fuck socialists!

5:47 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Fuck minstrelboy in his wantin shit for free ass.

5:55 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Socialism does not work. Check europe Russia. China cuba. Viet nam. Why do pompous asses think they can make it work? Hillary? Barack? Buhler?

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